Bow to the king
Feb 17
Living with all boys (well, boys and a man) means there is a lot of talk about junk in this house. You know, junk. And butts. And poop for that matter. Just basic nastiness at all times.
I’m trying to curb this and be more mature about things, since I’ve already been reprimanded by the fact that Declan calls his you-know-what his “weiner.” Hey, I didn’t do it. His father was responsible for that gem.
Declan is also in that mega curious stage where he asks WHY about everything. “Why is it called a sock, Mommy?” “Why do we call that a car, Mommy?” “Why do you drink beer, Mommy?” Trying to come up with clever, intelligent and non-snarky comments for all those questions is IMPOSSIBLE. But I’m trying.
We’ve been also trying to explain words that are ok for Declan to say and words that are “grown up” words, like he should say “bottom” instead of “butt.” So the other day, when Declan mentioned his “weiner” again, I took that as an opportunity to teach him the correct word. Why? I don’t know. Because I felt like I should.
So I said “Hey, do you know what the real word for your weiner is? It’s a PENIS. That’s the RIGHT word to call it.”
“PENIS? What’s a penis?”
“Your weiner.” This is getting weird.
“What do we call our booty? A PONUS??” and he cracked up. Sigh. It’s been a “weiner” ever since.
Until this morning.
Declan is sitting on top of me in a chair because I am not allowed to not have at least one child on top of me at all times, and he goes “Hey mommy, know what we call our bottom? Your HONUS. And you know what you call your weiner? YOUR HIGHNESS!!!”
That should go over well at preschool.
Bow down to his highness! -- Photo by Shain Riveley
