Liar, liar
Jan 07
I’m far from an expert, but in the 3-almost-4 years I’ve been a parent, I know one thing for 100 percent certainty: kids will make a liar out of you every single time.
Earlier this week, I blogged about how I’m convinced Simon is an evil genius. And I still am. In his defense, he has been sick with a cold, but seriously, he was SO grumpy that I actually called the doctor in the hopes that they would tell me that yes, in fact, there is a virus going around right now that makes your kids behave like complete demons and they do have a vaccine in stock. Instead, the nurse basically gave me side eye over the phone after I informed her that no, he had no fever, no wheezing, no difficulty breathing or stomach issues, “but he’s really, really whiny!” Surprisingly, this illness does not qualify for a recommended sick visit, nor is it covered by insurance. Just FYI.
After days of his behavior, I did what any good mom does, and complained to anyone who would listen. And like magic, all of the sudden, he was fine. He literally went down for a nap a miserable psycho and woke up a ray of sunshine. It’s like he knew I had finally reached my breaking point, and just before I went over the edge, he reeled me back in with his charming little baby smile and ridiculously cute babbling.
I will drive you insane with my cuteness.
Evil. Genius.
All kids do that, though, don’t they? They wear you down and wear you down, til your nerves are shot and you are thisclose to breaking your “No cocktails til 5 p.m.” rule, then suddenly: BAM! there’s cooing and babbling or snuggling and “I love yous!” and you walk around in a daze, trying to figure out why exactly you were crushing up 50 Advil to put in your Bailey’s coffee.
So yea, Simon made a liar out of me. I was bitching about how he just won’t eat anything no matter what I do, and what has he done the past couple of days? Eaten everything I put down in front of him, with gusto. I complained how every time I offered him whole milk, he rolled his eyes, except now because he loves it. Oh, and sleep? Yea, he’s extra gifted in the sleep deprivation department. For the past 3 weeks, he’s been waking twice a night, and I’ve been going with it since he was snotty and I’m lazy. But last night, I was READY. Paul and I had a plan. No nursing after bedtime! Paul would go in ONE TIME, and ONE TIME ONLY!!! when he woke up, and he would just have to figure it out, dammit, because we are TIRED. Yea, he slept straight through the night and took a 3 hour nap this morning.
Do your kids do this? I think it’s proof of evolution. Only the strong survive. Mothers, that is.
