I’m in the process of reinventing my blog, and I’m nowhere near ready for a huge big reveal, but I can’t help myself. I gotta get this out.
You guys, do you ever scroll through Facebook or Twitter and see the links that all your friends are posting and think “THANK GOD FOR THAT BLOGGER”? Because seriously, I don’t know how we survived as humans before they existed.
Viral posts are everywhere and about anything. Parenting especially. Screw you Dr. Spock. I’ve got MOMMY BLOGGERS to listen to! Thanks to this crew of EXPERTS, I know now to:
- Never say hurry up.
- Forgive myself if I tell them to hurry up.
- Make a chart so no one ever has to hurry up.
- Decorate everything perfectly.
- But also never decorate anything because who cares.
- Cherish every single moment of every single day because every last one of them is SPECIAL.
- Also remember that some times kids are assholes.
- Throw away my smart phone because I probably don’t even know where my kids are right now. Wait, kid or kids? How many do I have again? Hold on, it beeped …
- Allow myself to take a break with my smart phone because it’s cool, mom needs breaks, too.
- Never let my child near social media.
- But if I do let my child near it, make sure I filter and judge every move anyone makes that he comes into contact with.
And on. And on. And on.
These pieces can make great fodder. Occasionally, they offer a perspective I hadn’t thought of, but that is rare. Usually what these posts do is leave me staring at the computer looking like I just smelled something bad.
But at the end of the day, you know what I want to say to ALL OF THEM, funny or not?
Mind your own damn business.
Don’t worry about me and mine. We’re good. Or maybe we aren’t, who knows, but that’s for us to worry about. But the real point to all of those posts is “I don’t know you, but I observed a moment in your life without context or background, and because I am so moral/funny/organized/bored, I’ve determined you are doing it wrong.” But guess what? I don’t care.
I don’t care if you spend the entire time at the park on your phone or if you follow your kid around with a mattress in case he falls. I don’t care if yell at your kids sometimes. THEY PROBABLY DESERVED IT. And if you never EVER yell at them? Good for you. There are no trophies or bonuses for that, but hey, go for it. If you have some great perspective to share, some moment in your life that you want to share based on your experiences, great! Let’s hear it! Share with us how you learn or grow or laugh. But keep your finger-pointing to yourself, k?