As most any episode of Law & Order: SVU involving a teenager as the murderer will teach you, all young criminals torture animals at some point in time. Just ask Mariska Hargitay. She knows. So of course it gave me pause today when I witnessed Simon toddle over to the window where our lazy-ass beloved pet, Dot, was sitting before he decided to push her out the...

Living with all boys (well, boys and a man) means there is a lot of talk about junk in this house. You know, junk. And butts. And poop for that matter. Just basic nastiness at all times. I’m trying to curb this and be more mature about things, since I’ve already been reprimanded by the fact that Declan calls his you-know-what his “weiner.”...

Today we celebrated my little baby boy’s first birthday with a party at my mom’s, and it was a blast. The kids are properly over stimulated, up too late, full of nothing but junk and sugar, and at just before 9 p.m., I feel like I could sleep for a week. In other words, it was a success. Despite my moaning and groaning about it, my cake pops were a total...

On our way to a fun-filled family outing to a furniture warehouse today, Declan awarded us this gem from the backseat: “When I’m a grown up, I’m going to drink beer.” Me: If you have kids, you will. What else will you do as a grown up? Declan: “Drink coffee.” Me: True. But what else do grown ups do? Declan: “Drink...

I have a million and half other things I need to be doing right now (namely REDECORATING our Christmas tree, since our Griswold tree fell over today), but I have to write this story down so I can look back on it in 20 years (and tomorrow, when I’m homicidal over something) to remember how hilarious Declan is. So his new “thing” right now is yelling...

Tonight was Paul’s night to do baths, and as a total coincidence, it was Simon’s first time trying pasta. The fact that I wasn’t in charge of bathing him had nothing to do with me making the decision to just hand over the bowl and let him feed himself. I promise. I wouldn’t do that. Really. Meh, I had to clean up the kitchen afterward, so we...