Girl Power

Over the weekend, I attended a Happy Hysterectomy Party, and I’m sure many of you did as well. Tis the season and all. For the few of you who have yet to join the hysterectomy party circuit, a HHP (as they are known, obvs) is an event a woman plans to celebrate the upcoming removal of her uterus. Because nothing says “PARTY!!!” like having the center of your womanhood extracted. P!nk’s next album really focuses on this, I hear.

No, in all seriousness, this was a great event. A dear friend is having the procedure young, and was hit with the reality that the surgery represents more than just removing a troubled organ from her body. The uterus pretty much effects 90% of a woman’s lifetime in various ways, whether you have kids or not. So to suddenly LOSE this aspect is a little sad and a little happy. My friend decided that the best way to say sayonara to the old broad was to gather together some of her fave girls and have a celebration of womanhood and what that means to us. Yea, it sounds a little like a coven, and we might have burned some spices and other witchy things, but it was honestly a BLAST. The case of prosecco helped, as well. Give me enough bubbly and I’ll set anything on fire.

Read More

Coming Out of the Dark

Graphic by Kymberli Barney of

Graphic by Kymberli Barney of

It’s time.

It’s time for me to say the things here that I say in my home, in safe place, inside my walls.

It’s time to say we have a problem. And I want to be part of the solution.

Tonight, I’ve been glued to my tv, watching the news about Michael Brown and Darren Wilson. I waited for the announcement that Wilson would NOT be indicted for shooting an unarmed man 10+ times, despite knowing in my heart that it wouldn’t happen.

It was never going to happen.

Read More

Who Says Parenting Is Thankless?

So often these days, we hear about what a thankless job parenting is. How long and hard the days are, but how fast the years pass us by. We are encouraged to let go of the tough moments and relish the beautiful, sun-kissed moments in fields of wildflowers, with random chalkboards and Mason jars strewn about. To laugh! And hug! And plaster our home with inspirational quotes found on Pinterest!


I feel so much better now!!! Thanks, Pinterest!!

So I can’t tell you how warm my heart was yesterday with my precious family. This is one for the scrapbooks!*

Read More

Every Party Has a Pooper

My latest piece over at The Powder Room explains why I can’t laugh at a story that everybody else seems to think is funny.

I really hate being a party pooper. I do. I don’t consider myself a fun-hater or devoid of a sense of humor. I’m not easily offended, nor am I above laughing at basic, idiotic moments in life.

Which is why my reaction to this story floating around about the guy at Burger King buying all the pies makes me sigh. Check it out here.

Being a Nice Person Sometimes Is Gross

So I’ve decided to take part in this challenge to write every day because god knows right now, I’m writing once every season, and it seems stupid to keep paying for my domain name if it’s not being used.

Writing has been way harder for me since coming off my happy pills, but rather than continue using that as an excuse, I’m going with the old adage about practice makes perfect or something else about practicing … I dunno. Just Do It? Something.

Anyway. One thing I have to get over, if I’m going to do this (and you guys know I won’t, but we are going to pretend), is the thinking that everything has to be well-thought out and meaningful or perfect. I bet you didn’t even know those were standards I held, did you? WELL I DO. But in order to write more, that means I just gotta WRITE SOMETHING, so sometimes that something is going to be about rabbit balls.

Read More

Not Very Extreme Makeover

We are officially more than halfway done with 2014, and I am so happy to be on the downward slope of this dog turd of a year.

Seriously, is 2014 the worst or WHAT? For me at least, the first six months of this toilet bowl was lined with nothing but bad news, bad luck, heartache, headaches and overall foul-smelling refuse. NOT TO BE DRAMATIC.

But now that we are over the hump, I am DETERMINED to make the second half of 2014: The Dumbest Shit Known to Man, a real winner.

I’ve started out my quest for better times with a bit of a makeover of sorts. Let’s see if you can tell what I had done.

Read More

Southern Living

You guys, living in the South cracks me up. I love the random Southern Fried cast of characters you run into on any given day in the South. Every region has their own flavor, I know, but ours is just SO endearing.

Today, for example, I had an appointment at the dermatologist office. At check-in, I was greeted by THE MOST made-up and bedazzled woman I’ve seen in weeks (I can’t say “I’ll ever see” because fair season is just around the corner). She had on at least 4 shades of eyeshadow, and that doesn’t include her eyebrow shade. Lipstick perfectly filling in the lines carefully drawn around her mouth. The brightest shade of purply-pink blush to go with her stiffly-coiffed and bright orange-with-bleach-blonde-highlighted hair. Her reading glasses were bejeweled expertly to match her tunic, also glitzy. Her acrylic nails were the perfect shade for summer: neon coral and 4 inches long and were a perfect compliment to her massive blue topaz (?) stone on one hand, and blindingly shiny diamonds on the other.

She was perfection.

Read More

Just Ignore Everything I Said

Good news, folks! I accepted a job offer today! I’ve only been out of a job for a month and haven’t really been looking, and BAM, a job. Buy me a lottery ticket, I’m a lucky, lucky girl.

The new gig? Well, funny you should ask. Remember how before, I was all “NO MORE SOCIAL MEDIA JOBS!” and how I was like “I don’t know what I want to do, but I know what I don’t want — social media!!”? HAHAHAHAHAHA you guys totally fell for that trick!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So yea, I’m back doing social media!! Read More

Let It Be

Recently, a friend asked me for some parenting advice (RAISE YOUR STANDARDS, PEOPLE) in regards to her young son, who will be attending a family wedding soon and wants to wear something “pretty and sparkly like his sisters.” She knows Declan is forever in a dress of some variety at my house, despite a 36-hour reprieve from doing so last fall, and wanted my input on the situation.

Even though Declan sleeps most every night in a dress and quite often puts one on the minute he walks in the door from school, we don’t ever deal with the issue of wearing one out in public. Read More