Story Time

Being the excellent mom that I am, I find it nearly impossible to ever tell my kids “no” if they ask me to read to them. I love to read and hope so much to instill that love in them. If we are at the store or Target or anywhere that books are sold and they ask to buy a book, I’ll usually say yes because I’m a sucker I want books they are interested in to always be readily available to them. Literacy FTW!

Sometimes these reading opportunities can come at strange situations, I recently learned. Like waiting on a haircut at the local Ross the Boss. I had the boys in the waiting area, trying to keep them from knocking over literally every bottle of shampoo in the display stand (spoiler alert! It didn’t work) when Simon notices a book and magazine rack. He hands me a book and says “Read it, mommy” because manners are his strong suit.

I take a look at the cover and say “oh, honey, I’m sorry, this isn’t a story book. It’s a book of hair cuts,” but by then he was like “WAIT SCISSORS??”  and was darting off to accost some poor woman getting a perm and I was left holding the goods.

Upon glancing at the book, I realized how wrong I was when I said this wasn’t a story book. This book was chock full of stories, just waiting to be made up.

Luckily, I had my phone with me, so I snapped some photos of my faves and thought I would share my storytelling prowess with my readers.


Once Upon a Time…


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This is Justin and Cory. They are best buds and former baseball standouts at their JuCo in Oklahoma, until it was discovered that Justin was on probation for statutory rape and that Cory was actually 35.

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This is Matt, Dakota, Jimmy Jr. and Ross. They are trying to make it big as the Christian pop version of Color Me Badd.

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Luke is a senior in Omaha, Neb. He has big plans after graduating that include putting out a dubstep single, moving out of his parents’ house and also possibly working at Target.

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Colin has a long career as a catalog and commercial male model. You may have seen his work in International Male (November 1997), Lillian Vernon (Christmas 1994) and as an extra on Showtime’s “The Red Shoe Diaries.”

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Lee is a competitive swimmer from Clearwater, Fla. He hoped to take his talent to the collegiate level, but unfortunately he only scored a 14 on his ACT. He is currently teaching swimming lessons at the local YMCA and is reportedly having an illicit affair with the woman in charge of scheduling.

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Darnell and Wes are best friends and budding starlets from Anaheim, Calif. Darnell has been featured as a back-up dancer on Nickelodeon’s “The Fresh Beat Band” and hopes to one day make his way on the big screen as something other than a “blaxploitation” character actor. Wes is currently pitching remakes of “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” starring himself in the role of Ted, and “Point Break” starring himself as Johnny Utah.

So kids, let this be a lesson. Great literature — and great hair styles — are everywhere, if you just keep your eyes, and mind, open.

  • Leigha

    I dont think you even UNDERSTAND how hard I just laughed at this. Im sitting at work snorting away. I definitely appreciate this….. ALL the hairstyle books have ridiculous pics!!!